peterpan — 11.01.08, 15:29:35

hagebaumarkt Flower Talk – Stress

Let our professional flower psychologist talk to your flowers and plants. You will see – your little green frinds will feel better afterwards!


Translation:

The 'Stress' chapter:


You know what, my friends, everyone has to have moments where they can just vegetate away without a trace of stress. Just doing whatever you like from root to stalk. You ought to try it – right now!

Drop all your flowering and growing complexes and let your leaves droop. Let your sap drip and smell as bad as you can. Let all your moisture out in one go, stick out your stamens at the window pane, drop your leaves in front of the next pot, just do whatever you feel like doing.

Right, just to make sure that your new-found laisser-fleur is up to scratch, I'll just open the window a little and let in some fresh air. Here's to freedom! Here we go!:

(SFX) Sounds of breezes, running water and birdsong.

(SFX) The music fades

So, have you dipped your roots deep into the dew? If I know you, none of you did really let the sap rise. But listen, try it again when I'm not here and you don't feel that someone's watching. Then you'll find out what a unbelievably liberating feeling it is. And so essential too!
Particularly for you as houseplants. Because you always suffer so much stress. Always under pressure. Your always compared with others, have to stand out and stand straight. Have to bloom more and better every year, or have an even sweeter scent or fresher look.
Your living in a tough organic society my friends. Here on your windowsill!
And just to please your owners? Just to be the most wonderful flower in the bunch? Just to be pollinated by the next best bee, or sniffed at by a great big human nose?

I can tell you, it's not much fun to put up with all this floral stress. You get twisted stems, your flowers drop off or start smelling nasty. Do any of you really want this? None of you! And a little bird told me your owners don't like it either, that's for sure!

You flowers and greenery, it's so easy to get out of this rut. What? You don't believe me? All you have to do is say to yourself 'If I can't be bothered to bloom today, tomorrow is another day!'.
Let me show you how easy it is to get your selves out of it all, it's all perfectly simple. A simple exercise for every time you're sick of your pot from roots to flowers and the stress is rising like the sap in spring:

Stretch out your roots and suck up a whole load of water from your soil, open your pores and let it out. Let all the pressures and stress evaporate with it, sweat it out, let it blow far away. And scream after it in a loud voice: 'I'm free, I'm beautiful and I love myself just the way I am!.“ You'll feel a whole lot better. I swear you will!

Come on, let's try it together! You don't have to scream out loud if you don't want. Just repeat what I'm about to say inside!

We take a big drink of water

(SFX) Load slurping and swallowing noises

We open our pores.

(SFX) Slow opening of a zip fastener.

And we sweat off all the stress.

(SFX) Hissing steam

And now:
I'm free!
I'm beautiful!
And I love myself just the way I am!


See how good it feels, my little green friends. Did you feel the stress disappear? And it's all so easy to do!
So just remember this little trick and you'll never suffer again!

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